


Follow me Instead (TomTord)

by EmptyAAesthetics



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Gets really gay in later chapters I promise, Guns, Heavy dream violence, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Mental Disorders, Moderate updates, More tags as the story goes on, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Scars, Slow Burn, Tom and Tord start off as assholes but what's new, Uploaded from my Wattpad @ComedyReasons, first fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 08:04:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptyAAesthetics/pseuds/EmptyAAesthetics
Summary: It's been two months since Tord's little mishap, and life is going pretty okay for him. Moving into his own apartment and being on medical leave from the army, he's just been tinkering with guns and house appliances until he's allowed to continue his reign. With not much else to do, he heads out to buy some food, running into a familiar face in the process.He tries threatening them, only for his plans to backfire and have him suffering a panic attack, leaving him passed out and waking up to the faces of his old friends.******************I ship the characters, not the real people.Eddsworld and It's characters belong to Matt Hargreaves and Thomas Ridgewell, I in no way take credit.(This is my first Fanfiction, and any comments and tips are greatly appreciated^)





	1. A Familiar Face

Tord wakes up in his pitch-black room, his one good eye blearily trying to focus on the neon green alarm clock numbers. It's 3:17AM if his vision hasn't failed him yet, about the same time he usually wakes up. Tord's body is aching, or the parts of it he can feel anyway, and he uses his endoskeleton arm to clumsily feel around the dark oak nightstand for his self-made red and black lava lamp. Pressing the button and switching it on, Tord easily locates his bulkier robot arm and pops it into place, rolling his shoulder to ease the onslaught of pain afterwards. He's still getting used to the weight of robotic appendages, which he notes to make lighter in later models.

Tord gets up slowly, pushing his crimson comforter aside and, being extra careful not to agitate the bandages on his legs or torso, gets up and stretches with a satisfying 'pop!' before wobbling over to his bathroom and clapping a little too harshly to turn on the lights. He's only lived in this apartment for about two months, but he's pretty proud of all the little additions he's made, most of them being previously created for his army. Picking the cherry toothbrush that's next to a pink and yellow one, in case Pau and Pat decide to come over, he puts a little too much overly-minty toothpaste on it, before running it under the sink and brushing his teeth.

He takes in his appearance in the mirror while promptly ignoring the right side of his face, which he would typically avoid hadn't he noted the crack he made in it yesterday from drunkenly punching it, and notices the paler skin and darker hair. Not that his soldiers will have to see his appearance when he's healed enough to go back anyway, thanks to his Red Leader redesign and mangled facial features. Tord doesn't go out much, not after a little setback two months ago anyway, but he keeps in contact with his right hand men which are currently in charge of his army, who also have a routine of calling him unexpectedly or barging in unannounced. After rinsing off the toothbrush, he places it back into the cup before opening up the handle in his soon to be replaced mirror, and grabs the pain pills. Unscrewing the lid and popping two into his mouth, he puts the bottle back and exits the bathroom, not bothering to drink water and knowing that the lights manually shut off.

The tired Norsk then walks over to his decent sized closet, choosing one out of a wide variety of grey and red hoodies, along with the occasional coat. Carefully slipping on a dark grey hoodie over his tank top, he also puts on some darker grey sweatpants, totally not adding to his already suspicious appearance. Tord didn't have to worry much about being wanted here, though, seeing as the wanted posters, which were only up for a few days, have mostly been taken down by soldiers and the police station was a considerable distance away. Before shutting the door, he notices the familiar shine of his phone, it must've fallen out of the hoodie he was putting away yesterday. Picking it up and pocketing it, he exits his room , accidentally slamming the door and making himself flinch, before snorting about it and hobbling down the stairs into the living room.

His living room is pretty barren, mostly since it takes him awhile to make custom furniture and that he doesn't have much decorating experience as Tord just lived in the army base, but he does still have the fancy, although less comfortable than the last, couch in a box facing a nicely sized flat-screen with his work desk parallel to it. A kitchenette is also in this room to the right, all basic appliances aside from the fancy coffee maker he got as a gift. He doesn't use the kitchen much, since eating isn't exactly his top priority, so he got an apartment with the smallest and lowest quality kitchen possible.

Tord glances over at his little gun themed clock on the wall, the time now being 3:49, and since he hasn't eaten in about two or so days figures he should go into the nearest convenience store and buy some ramen, preferably spicy. He usually buys cheap food to save up for mechanical parts and anything he might need, even though his Red Army typically provides it. He's basically lost his appetite, anyway. Tord brushes his hair and floofs it up to more so resemble his iconic devil horns, which he just thinks look cool.

Grabbing a wrap of bandages from the kitchen island, he wraps them around his neck and halfway around his face, careful not to obscure his beloved hairstyle in any way. Walking to the exit of the apartment, he grabs and shoves on black wooly gloves previously discarded on his coatrack and puts them on to hide his metallic arms. Slowly, he bends down and puts on his obscenely-difficult-to-tie beige combat boots and exits the house, slamming and locking the door quickly behind him in case of any unwanted guests. Not that he'd mind police at his door, since he's been aching to at least threaten someone with a firearm again, but he wouldn't want them snooping around places they don't belong.

Knowing the address to the 24/7 Londis like the back of his hand, it's about a block from his humble abode. Beginning his treacherous journey, Tord sighs into chilled air and starts walking on sidewalk illuminated by street lights. There aren't many people out tonight, aside from what he can assume to be the occasional drug dealer but hey, he's not one to judge. Soon coming up to the white, illuminated Londis sign, noting how the store is warmly lit and it'd be cool to have his apartment like that, Tord opens the door with a little jingle following and enters.

A clerk greets him with an uninterested nod, bags under the brunette's eyes to rival his own. Tord notes that no one else is here, aside from the tired clerk and some weirdo looking at female magazines, so his life about ten times easier. Shuffling over to the junk food isle, he spots the spicy flavored cup noodles and grabs as many as he can carry without exploding the cups, which amounts to five. Slightly denting the cups, he hobbles back over to the clerk and accidentally slams them onto the counter with too much force. They stare at him for a good minuet, evidently annoyed, and slowly scan his items. After paying his owed sixty-five cents and only getting a little ready to punch the guy, they hand him his bag and tell him to have a goodnight.

Exiting the store to another pleasant jingle and a few more people on the street, he gets ready to head back towards his apartment when his phone starts vibrating and-

_"Sunshine lollipops and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together~!"_

Caught off guard and fumbling to answer the all-to-familiar ringtone, he realizes that he must've picked up an old phone of his. He'll make sure to burn it later. Answering the phone, he gets his Red Leader voice ready and answers.

" _T-"_

"How did you get this number?" Ready to either explode with anger or shoot someone, Tord clenches his other hand into a fist. His temper isn't exactly the best.

_"It's just Pat. You weren't answering your phone and Pau got worried so I called this number."_

"Oh, I simply picked up this phone by accident so- just say I'm fine."

_"Of course Sir, have a good day."_

"You too, Pat."

***Click***

Sighing and shutting off the phone, mostly because he didn't want to look at the wallpaper photo of him and some old friends, he continues walking home. That is, if he hadn't noticed footsteps following a considerable distance behind him. Turning around, Tord gets ready to say a warning of sorts when he recognizes the soulless face in front of him, a face he's tried very hard to forget. The other looks absolutely furious, if not mildly confused.

"Tord."

Tord pads his pockets and shit- he forgot to bring a gun with him and his injuries made it too painful to fight. Dropping his beloved ramen, Tord starts backing away almost unnoticeably before turning around and full on sprinting, his phone falling and audibly clacking on the concrete behind him. If only it was that easy, though, since Thomas decides to run right after him.

Tord is faster yes, with much more experience than the other, but the bandaged scars on his legs make it more painful than he'd like to run. Immediately turning into an alleyway to try and get the blue-clad off his trail which actually works, for a few seconds. It'd be great if Tord hadn't met a barbed wire fence, especially since Tom was breathing heavily behind him. He turns around now facing his previous enemy and attempted killer, keeping a manic smile on his face and a crazed look in his eyes preparing himself to either get murdered or vice versa.

"Hello, Thomas. What? You were at the bar and decided _'oh hey! Why don't I go find the location of that bitch that blew up my house and tried to kill me, I'm sure it won't backfire!'-"_ Tom is pale, as if he'd just seen a ghost but Tord continues nonetheless, taking a step forward, "Y'know, it'd be such a shame if Edd and Matt saw their dear friend brutally murdered and left in an alley, so I do suggest you forget our little conversation and be on your merry way, am I clear?" Tord takes another step, now looking up at Thomas, and lifts him by his hoodie, whispering in his ear,

"Now be a good little soldier and get out of here." Tom however, doesn't follow his simple instructions, immediately wriggling out of Tord's grip and grabbing his right arm, and despite the extra bulk to that appendage it's still weaker than the newer one, leaving it easy to snap. Tord's heart rate spikes, he hasn't been fighting in the army for a good while and oh god this was just a prototype and Tom was going to kill him- his vision started going black and his throat was closing up and Thomas said something but Tord can't hear anything except his heart trying to escape his chest and-

Everything finally goes black.


	2. Friends Forever

_"He's far too fucking dangerous to stay here! He blew up our house and murdered Jon, after attempting to kill me!"_

Waking up, Tord immediately notices something cold on his forehead, alongside the argument from what he can assume to be Edd and Thomas. Shit- how long was he out and what were they planning on doing with him? Squinting his eye slightly, he noticed how they must've already gotten a new house, with turquoise walls and bright blue carpet. His two supposed kidnappers are also standing there, getting ready to start another argument, although Tord wishes they'd just kill him or something first.

"He was our friend, Tom! Doesn't he at least deserve to explain himself? What happened to second chances?!" Edd and Tom both looked furious, maybe if Tord moved just a bit they wouldn't notice? No- they're literally like two feet away from him. At least Edd is as 'kind' as ever, even Tord can admit that he doesn't deserve another chance.

"He wasn't our friend, not even sure if he was Matt's. And he already had a second chance when you let him back into our lives! This isn't a fucking fairytale, Edd! Not everyone deserves redemption and a happy ending. We should just turn him in to the police, he doesn't need to be our problem." Oh, jail wouldn't be too bad. Oh hey, Thomas was actually being smart for once-

"Tom, he's awake." Fuck- Tord hasn't been taking this situation seriously, but then again, why should he bother with them? He sits up, the icepack falling onto the couch and Edd looking at him, seemingly disappointed and worried. Tom is just furious, because of course he is. Admittedly, he's nervous, but that's something to easily cover up. What should he say? Should he say anything or would that provoke them further. At least Edd speaks up before he can get lost thinking of believable lies.

"...Look Tord, Tom didn't bring you here so we could hurt you, okay? We just want an explanation, that's all." That's all, yeah. Tord knows what they want to do with him. He understands, of course, he did ruin their happy ever after. Now he's just avoiding the inevitable, hoping they ignore the awkward silence that's fallen over them. He hasn't had months of planning for this, unlike his return, and they know what he really is.

This isn't going to be fun, but he doesn't expect it to be, anyway. He owes them an explanation, Tord understands this, of course, but he's not going to give them one. It'd take too much time, things he doesn't want to mention are in there too. He forces his face to soften into a grin, one that he's used often and knows is convincing. A fake apology should work, but he isn't the best at those.

"Alright, Edd. I know I eradicated your house and attempted to kill your friend, but I don't have an explanation. I'm greatly sorry for my actions, honestly. It was a combination of Thomas's hate, Matt forgetting me and adrenaline that pushed me to such lengths. You've taken all you could from me, okay? I won't try to take over the world and I won't hurt you, just let me resume what I was doing and we'll never speak of this again." It was a rushed excuse, but he's used to making up lies on the spot. Although, he also knows Edd isn't an idiot, he'll probably see through it quickly, same with Thomas. Speaking of the blue clad, he finally spoke up and didn't seem all too pleased.

"You've got to be kidding me, _right_? After nearly destroying our lives, the best you can do is pin it on me and Matt?! _You're a murderous psycho!"_ Tom's voice was dripping with venom. Edd still kept a look of disappointment, but with a shred of hope, too.

"Tom, it's okay. Maybe he wants to tell us but he can't. What if something bad happened to him during his time away? We can't be so quick to judge. There _has_ to be a good reason." Tom shook his head slightly, but stopped arguing after sending another glare Tord's way.

"Where's he going to stay, then?" What if Tord didn't want to stay? He has an apartment of his own, of which he was pretty proud of. He's not their fucking project to try and fix. Then again, he could actually succeed in his plan this time. He'll stay for a convenient time, and re-ruin their lives, then go back to his own. It's an easily breakable plan, but what's he got to loose?

"..I'm fine with the couch." It was a risk to his plan even talking to them right now, but if he didn't say anything he'd probably end up in Matt's room or something. Tom growled at him, before promptly storming out of the room, but Edd appeared a bit relieved and nodded correspondingly.

"Tom might not understand, but I know something happened, Tord." His tone was stern, unusual for when he was talking to the Norsk but under these circumstances he understood. "You don't have to tell me yet, but we've been friends long enough to where I can see when you're not..you." Edd stared at him intensely, almost looking through him, almost. Tord wanted to laugh, really, but he had a special respect for Edd. Respect earned from an Army Leader is nothing to be heckled at. He didn't have much to say in retaliation though, so he took the safest route.

"Thank you, Edd." He wanted to relieve the nearly choking tension, but he didn't want to fuck this up more than he has already. The other was being charitable enough, even if it was past the point of being naive. Edd was no idiot and Tord understood this very well.

"It's late and I won't bother you further, so try and get some sleep. Don't think I didn't notice those eye-bags." With a sigh, the green-clad flipped off the light switch and left through what Tord assumes to be the hall arch.

Being left with nothing but his thoughts was both a clarity and curse. He noticed his phone was no where to be found in the near proximity, leaving him with no communication to his army or right-hand men, but he did grab his cigarettes that must've dropped onto the floor. The grey-clad was completely alone with the people he tried to kill, great. What would he do when they found out about his injuries? Had they already seen his robotic arm? _Why did Thomas say he killed Jon?!_

What's the point of being here if it was causing so much stress? Tord could just leave out the front door if he wanted and, considering his options of sleeping on this nostalgic feeling couch, seemed to be the best option.

Getting up and stumbling slightly, he heads to what he can assume to be the front door, while despite his large boots doesn't make a sound thanks to previous army training. Twisting the knob ever-so-slightly he finds himself in a hallway of sorts. Oh? It couldn't have been to their house as it looked too professional. So they live in an apartment building? Makes sense, houses aren't cheap after all.

Starting his stroll down the hall, he notices footsteps copying his own. Odd for occurring in one day, but he's had worse. Turning around he's met once again with two familiar, cold voids."T-Thomas-" The other didn't look to pleased, and was probably drunk off his ass while carrying a half-empty Smirnoff bottle."-I just came out here for a smoke. Didn't realize you lived in an apartment complex, I'll just go back."

Slipping past the drunkard, he just went back inside, not wanting to deal with adding anymore scars to his body just yet. It was almost sickening, how some idiotic alcoholic could make fucking Red Leader cower. Then again, you can't really blame him for fearing the person who shot him out of the sky, nearly killing him, and hasn't shown any fear despite Tord being wanted.

Locking the apartment door, knowing Thomas probably has a key, he slowly sits back on the couch. Should he bother trying to sleep? He'll probably have to see Matt tomorrow, the one he used to confide in since he wouldn't tell a soul. The ginger will probably fear him, if he hasn't already forgotten, anyway.

Curling in on himself, Tord decides the best course of action is to just wait. If he tries exploring he might run into one of his old friends, and no thank you. He closes his eyes, hoping the ringing in his ears will disappear soon and waits to drift off.

He just couldn't wait for the shit-storm tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the long wait but I was thinking about what to do for this chapter. The plot picks up around chapter 4-5, but I like the idea for this chapter and the next. (Chapter 3 will be pretty expositional) 
> 
> Words: 1,456


	3. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I know this chapter is a little dull, but I don't really know how to properly write Tom and I'm saving a lot of content for the rest of the chapters. Hope you enjoy nonetheless!
> 
> Words: 1,577

...What? He's just going to abandon his predictable escape by seeing Tom's face? Don't get him wrong, it's nice that the person who tried to kill him is avoiding him and all, but for some murderer that's pretty odd. He's glad though, Tord is the cause of most of his problems in life. There's no hatred he's seen greater than himself towards that fucking psychopath.

Taking a swig of Smirnoff, Tom questions why Tord even got so close to them in the first place.

He despises Tord, with good reason, too.

In the beginning, he was fine. Tord was just another one of Edd's friends, that is, until he moved in with them. Tord didn't talk much about himself or his home life, but he was ecstaticwhen Edd offered him to move in with them. Tom really didn't care either way, he just didn't want the other bothering him. Tord kept his distance, though, and didn't talk much, either.

He was Tom's ideal housemate, until one day, he just.. _changed._

He started wearing blood-red hoodies, while getting addicted to guns, hentai, and cigarettes. Not that Tom had any right to judge, but it was all too sudden. Edd didn't question it however, and Tom frankly didn't care, so it went unnoticed. Matt also changed around that time, with complete personality changes for them both.

Tom cared once, honestly, but that's around the time Tord decided to pick fights with him and-  _that didn't turn out well for anyone._

It happened out of nowhere, one night they kept their typical distance, with Tord doing whatever the fuck he did in his room, the next he seemed..stressed? That's when the Norsk began his relentless teasing, starting with the nicknames like 'Jehovahs'. He was also dubbed 'Thomas', but that was before the fighting started.

The more Tom bothered to help, the worse it would all get. Anytime he'd question Tord, he'd either be ignored or laughed at. Sometimes their fights would lead to slight bloodshed, but Edd would stop it by that point. It got to the point where Edd was unable to leave them alone in the house together.

And just- holy shit, the  _look_  in Tord's eyes freaked Tom out.

When he'd get drunk and at his most vulnerable however, the red-clad wouldn't bother him, even if Tom tried fighting or hurt him. Overall, everything Tord did confused him. Why the sudden change? Why was he picking on Tom? _Why was he hiding so much?_  He's tried getting answers from Edd, but it doesn't seem like he knew anything, either.

That pegged the question, why was Edd and Matt friends with Tord? Edd didn't seem to know much about him at all. Edd's reasoning was that he and Tord got along, but Edd just got along with everyone, anyway. Tom thought that Edd and Tord loved eachother once, but looking back on it that's pretty unlikely. Maybe he liked Matt, actually, but then again that doesn't seem probable, either.

Right before Tord left was when Tom finally thought he got over whatever that was. He was quiet, didn't speak unless spoken to, and had a nervous aura all around him. Just like the old Tord did, the one people were actually friends with. He didn't take much with him, either, just some documents, guns, clothes, and photos of their favorite moments. Tord left behind almost everything else, including furniture and some weird robot plush from his childhood.

Then, he left, fake sadness on his face and everything. That was it for several years, and everyone else was still happy, still friends after all that time.

Edd likes to think that the sadness was real, that Tord would actually feel something for leaving them but, all Tom saw was a façade with hints of something else.

Tom never really believed in Tord's excuse, either. Then again, he doesn't blame Tord for hiding things about himself, he seemed to really rely on Edd and partially Matt, and he made it look like the thing he was trying to hide would damage their relationship. Tom would actually feel bad for him if it wasn't for how much he hated Tord. He's never really fit in with them, anyway.

Tord's always looked out of place though, even when he ditched the black coat for a grey hoodie, he just always seemed..off. Tom, Edd, and Matt were usually huddled together in pictures, but Tord stood slightly to the side, no one else seems to notice that, though. Maybe Tom just looked to far into it? Clinging onto anything that would give some sort of prompt for what he did.

Tord was also the one they knew the least about from the beginning, anyway. Edd knew what family Matt and Tom had left, but Tord's was never even brought up. Tom figured it was just some messed-up past, he could relate to that, but Tord kept  _too_  many things hidden. All Tom knew is Tord's supposed personality and favorite color, that's all Edd seemed to know, too.

His whole personality was just some weird-ass trope. He probably did it on purpose, leading them away from finding out anything about him. Tord could be summed up with anime porn, firearms, and cigars. He didn't really talk, either. So why was no one else suspicious of him? He was even close to Matt for god-sake! Not many people could even talk to Matt without getting mad, but some trigger-happy weirdo with severe anger issues could?

That didn't last forever, though, Tord distanced himself from everyone before finally leaving, spending most of his time having conversations in his room.

But, of course, that wouldn't just be the end of it. He just had to come back and ruin everything, just when it was all fine.

Then Tord came back, to an exited Edd, angry Tom, and Matt who completely forgot about him. That was probably what angered him first, since him and Matt were fairly close. Sure, Tom was pissed that no one told him about this, but Tord was  _relentless_ , finding anyway possible to push his buttons. He also moved robotically, adding to Tom's suspicions and just freaking him out.

It got to the point where Tom had enough and stormed out, but did that thing care? No. All he did was freeze, and Edd told him that Tord just said to ignore it.

Heartless son of a bitch.

Admittedly though, Tord was very good at hiding his feelings, even better than Tom. Or maybe the Commie just didn't feel anything at all, Tom wouldn't think twice if so. From his knowledge though, and what Edd told him, Tord would freeze and falter when anything unexpected happened, like when Tom left or he was asked if they were friends, so maybe he does feel something at least.

Edd will still occasionally defend him whenever his little fuck up is mentioned, saying he had to convince himself or some crap. Not that Tom is buying it, he knows Tord will do something again, and probably not regret a minuet of it. Matt is also still mad at him, and for once Tom agrees. As great of friends as he and Edd are, he just can't justify what Tord did, no matter what intentions he thinks he might've had.

..

'Bunch of bullshit is what it is, they shouldn't have to deal with  _any_ of his problems.

Atleast when they were all just beginning to move together they seemed to know each other like the back of their hands. Matt and Tom were classified as the grumpy ones, Edd was the happy go lucky one that loved cola, and Tord was the quiet, emo one. Why can't they just go back to being simple clichés?

It's all Tord's fault,  _he ruined everything._

...

Well, there wasn't a point of staying in the hallway anymore. Sighing and trudging back to Edd's apartment, figuring he'd be there to keep his two friends safe if Tord did anything, he turned the knob to find out it was locked. Of course. Getting the spare key from under the welcome mat, he slowly opens the door and closes the door quietly behind him in case anyone's asleep.

Coming home to the Norsk splayed across the couch, half-hanging off it wasn't the weirdest sight he's seen, but Tom feels a sense of unease thanks to the murderer in his near proximity. The other's probably just faking anyway, waiting for the perfect time to strike when everyone's guard is down.

Tom won't fall for that, though, not again.

Walking into the kitchen, he shoves the bottle of Smirnoff he was planning on finishing back in the fridge, not wanting to be drunk just in case. Should he actually leave Tord unattended? Not like he has a choice anyway. If they survive this night, which they most likely will since the grey-clad has a knack for gaining trust, he and Edd will have to think of some way to keep an eye on Tord.

Tom figures he'll just stay in the guest room, it's pretty unlikely he'd get sleep without Tommy bear anyway. Might he add that goddamn, Tord is heavier than he looks- With a long ass night ahead of him, he closes his eyes and mentally prepares himself for Tord's fuckery.

Tom swears to Jehovah, if that commie so much as makes Edd _frown_ tomorrow, he'll make sure Tord doesn't get up this time. 


	4. Let's Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd and Tord have a nice, little™ chat.
> 
> I wanted to add a lot more to this chapter, like Ringo and stuff, but I didn't want it to get too long so eh. I also gotta get the other character's meet & greets out of the way before I barge in with sum good 'ol TomTord bc I want some semblance of a good story. Sorry if it seems a 'lil EddTord-y or somethin' rn, but that's because I gotta get bonding time w/everyone else in first. I also upload these chapters like a week after I make them so, sorry if you don't like the wait times.
> 
> Words: 2,198 (new record! It probably won't be the longest chap tho tbh)

Groggily opening his eye, Tord suddenly jolts up, falling face-first off of the bright red couch and onto the dark blue, albeit soft, carpet beneath. Tord's eye doesn't adjust to darkness easily, so everything's pitch black and eerily quiet, but that should mean no one else is up, at least not Thomas if he's lucky.  _Everything aches_ , a mixture of his heavy as shit robotic arms, too many layers of clothes and ridiculously thick boots, resulting in his joints being stiff and almost impossible to move. Quietly cussing out no-one in particular, the hot-headed Norsk takes his sweet time getting up, carefully feeling around for anything to use as a crutch, and finds a decently sized box nearby.

What, could they not even afford a fucking table?!

Slowly propping his slightly less stiff endoskeleton arm on said box and heavily denting it in return, he carefully gets up on shaky legs that'll probably fail him soon. Tord will have to be careful today, he doesn't want to end up collapsing on anyone, just imagine what they'd think of him. He winces slightly at the pain from his joints and scars, maybe he'll actually take care of himself next time, heh. Not like he hasn't felt worse, this doesn't matter. He's not weak, he's _Red Leader,_ the one who survived explosion after explosion along with having two arms amputated for fuck-sake! Steadying himself, he tries to do his routinely stretch, only to hear his robotic appendages screech in protest. Giving up and just dropping onto the oddly nostalgic couch with a huff, Tord already knows today is going to be shit. He's not stupid enough to turn on the TV or any light switches in case he alerts anyone in the apartment, so he just slightly lifts his arms and shoves his face into them.

This will pass, he knows it will- it's just -with everything that's happened recently, he doesn't know what to do. Everything hurts and he's miserable and  _-ugh-_  but he'll be fine, he always is.  _Red Leader always is._  Anyway, his soldiers, or right hand men in particular, are probably worried. Hopefully they won't go looking for him, but it's not like they have the right to anyway. With the way things are going for him, though, they'll probably think he killed himself. Maybe Tord can ask Edd for his phone back, even if he dreads the stuff he saved on that old thing. He..vaguely misses Pau and Pat, too.

Also, why was no one here questioning his bandages so far? If Edd cares  _oh so much_ , shouldn't he have asked what happened? Fuck- he's too sleep deprived and starved to deal with all of this. They'll probably bother him with it eventually, being appalled at his appearance and kicking him out, or turning him in. Whatever. Thomas is the worst so far, already knowing Tord has ulterior motives. It doesn't help that he looks and acts pathetic around the other, but he can't help it. Once he eats something and actually bothers to sleep well it'll be different, he'll be able to perfect his appearance and actions, a perfect façade is what he's best at, after all.

His throat is burning too, _great,_  this is what he gets for days of self-neglect. To be fair, he really likes building little gadgets, ranging from lava lamps to fancy couches that come in cubes. It's nice, especially when Pau and Pat were busy working. Maybe they'll let him do that here, if they don't think he's building a bomb or something. Moving his arms down slowly and letting his eye adapt to the darkness, he notices something. His old, grey and torn up hoodie is in one of the beige, unlabeled boxes, the one he left on the coat rack in his old room. His room. The room they gave to that useless alcoholic. Looking more into his surroundings, Tord actually finds quite a few things he remembers, but it seems like most of the things from the storage room were blown to shreds.

Not that he feels remorseful for his actions, they had it coming, anyway.

After feeling numb from thinking too much, the grey-clad starts twitching and fidgeting every few seconds to occupy himself, mind racing with doubt and nervous energy. Perhaps they keep his phone somewhere around here, anything to ease his mind of the soon to be assault of unwanted thoughts. Focusing on what he can, Tord's bandages start scratching at his face just to add onto the list of annoyances, fucking fantastic. Everything's just  _fucking fantastic._

To top it all off, he hears footsteps echoing around him. It's mostly because of his training and heightened senses thanks to a number of pains and experiments, but they are at least making some sort of attempt to stay quiet. With not much time in deciding whether or not to pretend to be asleep, he chooses not to. It's most likely Thomas coming to either tell him off or just kill him, maybe it's Matt coming to forget about him again. Whatever, he can take it. He will succeed this time, no matter the cost. All he really needs is a gun, anyway.

When the footsteps come to a close, it turns out to be Edd of all people. He's wearing his classic 'Smeg Head' T-Shirt, and oh god he's had that for so long like Jesus Edd, and a pair of black boxers. His chocolate-y brown hair is all ruffled, too, so at least someone slept last night. The other rubs at his eye and yawns before speaking. Yeah, thank you for not being the slightest bit weary of the killer on your couch, Edd.

"Oh, you're awake. G'morning, Tord." His voice is quiet and soft, regarding the grey-clad with the utmost kindness and care a person can to someone like him. He pauses and just..stands there, waiting for a response from the other. Tord does so, trying to mimic Edd's softness to the best of his abilities.

"Morning, Edd." His accent is thicker than usual, since he just recently woke up, and it plagues his words with a sort of weakness. God, he hates his voice sometimes, unless he's yelling. He does like to scare others with it, after all. Edd shuffles a little, before walking more into the room, causing Tord to instinctively curl back into the couch.

"I'm pretty sure it's late enough to make breakfast, so is there anything in particular 'you want? You're our guest so nothing's really out of the question, unless we don't have it, anyway." He walks right on past him and into the kitchen, before flipping on the light switch and  _absolutely murdering_ Tord's eye. The Norsk made all of his lights dull for a reason- _god are these bright_. Maybe he should've built a robotic eye, he already had the blueprints for legs, anyway. Giving himself a second to adjust, he does a one-eyed squint and analyzes the kitchen, or what he can see from its archway, at least. There's just some regular black and white checkered tile, with cream walls and mango-colored counters with a white, marble counter-top. Some pictures are poorly hung up, too, containing photos of Edd, Matt and Thomas all having the time of their lives.

Getting back on the topic of food however, isn't exactly a pleasant one. Tord hasn't been eating properly since his little mistake, just one of many problems he's had after it. There's just..no point? He'll stuff his face with snacks every now and then, sure, but he ultimately just throws it all up afterwards and- no thank you. Edd looks over at him expectantly, so Tord just simply shakes his head.

"Alright, bacon and eggs it is then. Do you mind if I talk to you about something? Unless you're not ready to, anyway." Great, here it comes. Does he want an explanation? Not that Tord could give him one. Might as well let him talk, though.

"Uh- no, not at all. What is it, Edd?" Tord makes one of his famous noises in question. He may already know what the question is, and that it's unanswerable, but he can at least try to be nice about it. Maybe Edd will respect his privacy for once, not that he deserves it after all he did. Edd starts rambling, so hopefully that means he's nervous, he doesn't want everyone nonchalant around him. The other starts occupying himself with placing pots and pans on the stove, before reaching into the bright, pristine white refrigerator and pulling out a pack of raw bacon and a pale yellow carton of eggs.

"..Are you hurt? Like, not just physically, since that's a bit obvious, but sensory wise and stuff. Do lights and sounds bother you? Sorry I didn't think about that before turning on the light, and is there anything you need? The couch isn't the most comfortable, I get that, I'll find you something better. Did you scar? Does it still hurt? Do you need new bandages? Is there an-" Cutting Edd off like the good friend he is, Tord answers him as needed.

"Hah, thanks for the worries, Edd, but I'm fine. These bandages are only since my neck was cold and my eye suffered just a little bit of damage. I'm okay." Tord could feel a headache coming on, fun. A lot of talking and bright, pristine lights were never a good mix, it's like a hospital in an odd way. The stove starts sizzling, too, adding onto the things that he's able to distract himself with.

"Do you want to change them? You might as well take off the gloves and boots, too, unless you're not comfortable enough yet."...He could benefit from letting Edd see his injuries but- there's too much he could loose, too. What if they hurt him even more? Not that he hasn't had worse, he just..doesn't want to deal with that right now. Maybe later, yeah, when he's feeling better and not like he's going to drop any minute now.

"No, but thanks Edd, for everything. You really don't have to." He sighs, obviously hoping for a different answer. Tord is a disappointment, what's new? At least he can smell the aroma of bacon, it's been  _so_ long since he's had that, although he probably won't be able to eat it.

"Tord..we used to be friends, alright? You've done a lot for me, too, it's not like you're all that bad. You made a mistake and sure, we probably won't forgive you for a long time, but I want to give you another chance. Even if this is all some game to you and that 'chance' is meaningless. I know you're still you, but something happened, didn't it?" Tord winces, it's too early for this shit. Edd is smart, he'll give him that, but isn't he just looking a tad bit too deep into this? What does it matter, anyway? There's no redemption for someone like him, no matter what happy ending the other wants. It's not Edd's choice, it's his, and Edd isn't going to fucking take that away from him!

"Edd, can we not talk about this anymore? Nothing happened, it's just you trying to justify what I did thanks to your conscience." Edd stops talking correspondingly. Fuck, that guy is too much. With Tord's luck, the brunette will just get tired of him, anyway. Hopefully.

They remain in a nearly suffocating silence for however much time passes, only the occasional soft  _'clink!'_  of pots and pans or repetitive sizzle from the bacon are left to keep him occupied. Admittedly this could be comforting, if it were Pau and Pat, maybe. They could have one of their usual movie nights, one of them making dinner while the other two stay on the couch and find something to watch. It would be nice and homey and-

Footsteps.

"Good morning, Tom. Breakfasts almost ready so could you go get Matt for me? It's bacon and eggs today by the way." Said male walks in, unfazed and fully-clothed in his signature, dark blue hoodie, and promptly ignores him. He'd really hoped the other to be pissed, he really wanted something to break this awful tension. Thomas does nothing though, well, nothing except promptly leave with a  _'SLAM!'_  following after.

"Sorry about him, he won't always be like this." Hah, Tord knows this isn't going to change. Thomas is going to despise him for however long he stays, and that's fine. Tord hates him just as much, if not more. He's still going to try to fool the other again, sure, but that'll be much harder than it was before. At least Edd and Matt should be less difficu-

**_'BAM!'_ **

Wh-

A completely dressed, adorned with black shoes and green overcoat over his lavender hoodie ginger stands there at the door, eyes blown wide and frantically searching around the room before his eyes land on Tord. He looks absolutely terrified.

_"Tord?!"_

Wow, Matt even remembers his name this time, surprising.


	5. Here to Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edd is not pleased and Tordy dies inside
> 
> Heyya!  
> So I know this chapter is like, really boring and all but the next one will be longer (around 2-3k words hopefully) and more eventful! I wasn't kidding with the slow burn thing so, sorry if you don't like the wait. I'm gonna have to do a lot of research for the next chapter too, so it'll take 1-2 weeks. Tests are also popping up everywhere so, I'm exited to write instead of studying! P.S, Ringo is coming soon so don't worry your pretty little heads.
> 
> Words: 1,829 (Hope you enjoy!)

Without warning, the other runs towards him and, before anyone can interject, promptly jumps on the unreasonably comfy couch and wraps his arms around Tord, squeezing the ever-loving shit out of him. Not only does he irritate the scars taking up a considerable part of the Norsk's torso, he also probably bruises a rib, if not several. Quietly wheezing, again, thank you explosion, he returns the gesture, just considerably more gentle since he needs to be more aware of his prosthetics. He can hear Edd quietly chuckling in the background, and Thomas is probably pretty pissed right now, thanks to one of his best friends hugging his attempted killer and all.

"I thought Tom killed you! Ohmygod, Todd! It's actually you!" Well, there it goes, name forgotten again- and wait- they thought he died?- He's still being coddled tightly, it's an.. odd feeling. He isn't just some child. Matt lets go, eventually, around the same time Edd starts setting some table that Tord can't see from his spot on the couch, setting down plates with audible clinks every now and then. As he expected, Matt is pretty happy to see him, that won't last long, though, when what he did is brought up again. The incredulity of all this is astounding, just being near them is something the Norsk avoided like the plague, but here he is. After everything he's still here, still with them. Still planning to hurt them.

"Alright everyone, breakfast's ready!" Edd announces, leading Matt to happily bounce off the couch, letting out a little 'yay!' and trotting off to the kitchen. Tord could almost pretend he never even left, but when he gets up and can barely move without that ever-present stiffness, he reminds himself that it's over, what they had before doesn't matter. He waits for Thomas to move first, but it just ends in both of them standing and staring at one another, each one waiting for the other to go. Tord, not wanting to stand there and deal with the stomach-churn he gets from the other, moves first. His movements are robotic and slow, like they always get when he's nervous, like the day he fucked up.

Trudging into the kitchen, freakishly heavy boots audibly clacking on black and white tile, his eyes fall on the medium, maple table. More notably, the three, cream-padded stools surrounding it. Tord's heart stops for a good second, he momentarily forgot that 'oh, of course they wouldn't have four seats, since there's only three of them'.Thomas walks in shortly after, suspiciously eyeing him and intently analyzing each twitch of his arm or muffled huff. The silence is deafening for the moment, everyone standing and tensely surveying the others in the room, until Edd coughs into his fist and begins talking, that is.

"Anyway, Matt, could you get the fold-able chair from the closet?-" The other nods correspondingly before walking off "-thank you." Edd walks back to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and a red-capped gallon of milk, pouring each into four corresponding, clear glasses with two of each liquid. He sets them on the table, and sits down, motioning for Thomas to do the same. He does so, after glancing back at Tord one last time, and he haphazardly drops onto the creaking stool. They start chatting quietly, talking about things he's too tired to pay any mind to. Matt comes back rather quickly, metal fold-able chair with blue padding in tow, and sets it up at the table before he takes his seat right next to Edd.

Tord carefully and, as quietly as he can, sits down on the metal chair. Not that he has a problem with sitting and all, but he  _hates_ the color blue, irrationally so even. The Norsk also has to force the chair from toppling over, thanks to his heavy as shit mechanical arms that probably weigh more than the rest of him. He also just happens to be so very lucky since he's sitting next to the tallest and most idiotic males here, Matt and Thomas. The ginger doesn't bother him much, he never really has, but him and the dumb-ass alcoholic paired together just got on his nerves. All this, along with the sickeningly strong sent of bacon just makes his stomach flip, at least he's good at masking his discomfort. Matt already started gorging down food, like, how the fuck does he eat so fast with all this tension? Edd notices his and Thomas's lack of eating though, and speaks up.

"You guys don't have to be nervous, y'know. It's just us. Maybe the circumstances are a bit different but whatever, you should still eat." Edd then starts eating, glass of milk by his side and an awkward smile stretched on his face, with Tord sporting a similar, although more professional one. Thomas is just watching the grey-clad, making him just a tad bit uncomfortable, but the other starts eating soon, too. It's almost wholesome, being with everyone again, if only he wanted to be here. Picking up the water shakily, almost spilling it in the process, he watches it swish in the little clear cup for a moment before hesitantly drinking. It helps the burn in his throat a bit, but today is going to be absolute hell without his pain pills. Edd starts cheerfully chatting again, it's pretty nice actually, he'd just rather be with  _his_  friends.

"Isn't it nice to be all together again? It's like our own little dysfunctional family. I'm sure we have plenty of catching up to do with each-other, too!" Hah, sure. It's absolutely fantastic. Tord decides to join in on the conversation, ignoring the way Thomas is promptly staring at him, and twists his voice into something sweet, almost sickeningly so.

"Yeah, I missed this. How've you guys been?" He's still not eating, nor is he going to, but the Norsk still manages to out on a sense of normalcy. Well, as normal as they can get, anyway. Sure, his gestures are a tad robotic, not like they'd notice that, though. Too bad Thomas just had to speak up, he did want to chat with Edd or Matt for a bit.

"W-"

"We were just fine, before  _you_ showed up." His voice drips like venom, regarding Tord on the most hostile way possible. Thomas was the one that brought him here though, but whatever. This is good, this is very good, nothing changed. He will have to be nicer to the other, for now at least, until he re-gains their trust, but it's almost the same. The only problem this causes for him is whether or not to act weak, but it's just them, so it's no big deal either way. Edd goes in to speak, but is cut-off again, like usual when it comes to him and the alcoholic arguing. He almost feels bad for the brunette, since their arguing isn't exactly pleasant for those around them, but Tord doesn't plan on letting this get too far anyway.

_"Tom, s-!"_

"No, Edd! He doesn't belong here!" Thomas growls and narrows his eyes at him, so the Norsk immediately wipes the smile off his face correspondingly. Despite his high status, Tord might as well play along, it may be fun to watch the other grow increasingly angrier. Looking over to Matt, he seems to have stopped eating, too, obviously uncomfortable with the Brit's outburst. Edd looks like he's about ready to explode, so he decides to speak instead, hoping for the best and worst at the same time.

"Look, Thomas. Calm down, please? I'm not here to fight with you." Apparently, Tord just said  _all_  the wrong things, since the next minute the other is storming out again, followed by a loud  _ **'SLAM!'.**_  Yeah, running from his problems seems like a pretty good option right about now. Edd goes out after him, mumbling about why things have to be this way or something akin to that. So, that leaves him here, stuck sitting alone in an unfamiliar area with Matt of all people. The other is just picking at his food now, or what's left of it anyway, and lets out a defeated sigh. He actually doesn't mind the ginger though, it's just he'd rather not be stuck with the one he used to confide in. Matt probably hates him now anyway, for all Tord knows that hug could've just been a decoy to mask his real feelings. Not that he cares, that just might be too smart of the lavender-clad, anyway.

"So uh, how's it goin' Todd..?" Caught off guard, Tord makes another noise, to which Matt slightly chuckles at. Well, at least he's good for something other than mass-murder. Trying to relieve some tension, he laughs along with the other, already having mastered the technique of faking joy. It does come out a bit hollow, but he can blame that on his accent. He's also wishing he could smoke or something right now, just anything that could occupy his hands which he's currently moving to emphasize his emotions.

"It's been alright, until Thomas started picking fights and all." He levels his voice at a playful tone, and based off of the other's expression, it's working perfectly. Matt is extremely gullible to his charade, so it's actually quite nice when he nods along, obnoxiously wide smile on his face. Tord doesn't quite copy it, but sports a similar one that doesn't look like he's actively trying to clone the other.

"Yeah, he was pissed when he came over to my apartment. I thought he was gonna shatter a mirror with a face like that!" They both share another chuckle, the Norsk's being more drawn out, and he wipes at his eye to add onto the act. Hah, Matt is so easy to get by, he just hopes what he did won't be brought up any time soon. He should ask the other things about their lives to gai-

The door opens again, revealing an aggravated Edd and equally irritated alcoholic. The T-Shirt clad sighs, before motioning for the other to sit, who does so shortly after.

"Okay everyone, first off we've run out of some ingredients I need, so we're going shopping tomorrow,-" Thomas tries cutting in "- _no_  buts. Tord is also joining us, since I don't trust him to be left here alone and he needs clothes, also  _everyone_  is going. It's just going to be another nice day out, alright?" The other two males nod their heads, so he faces Edd and does the same, albeit reluctantly. Ugh, he doesn't want to be outside with them, especially in a public area where he could be recognized, but it would be nice to not wear the clothes he hasn't changed in awhile. Hopefully he'll also be able to shower soon, simply because ew, he's running a cold sweat everywhere and it's not pleasant.

 

This could also be a chance to bond with them, perfect.


	6. Just a Fun Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang have a jolly ol' time
> 
> Words: 3,461  
> [I know some parts seem sudden, and they are, but there's some good reasons, somewhere]  
> And holyheccinheck thank you guys so much for 600+ reads! Like, I expected 70-80 maybe, but not in the hundreds! Holy shit, thank you again, and I'm really sorry for being late on this chapter but I hope it's worth it! This was a bitch to write, like Jesus, I am but a humble American who just googles U.K shops, so, sorry for any misinformation-
> 
> Anyways, enjoy! And I really do love reading comments, whether they're anything from theories to random shit, so go ahead!

That's how he ended up here, sitting on the recently-purchased living room couch while everyone else gets ready to go. It's nice, having a moment to collect his thoughts with everything that's been going on. Pau and Pat are probably flipping out, and he really wouldn't mind for them to barge through the apartment door with guns or something. He's also killed Jon, apparently, which won't be a fun chat. He never really knew the neighbors much, anyway, but killing someone innocent doesn't really sit right with him. Who cares, though? Their life was probably pointless to begin with. Yeah, yeah of course. He's killed many, so what's the big deal? Stretching out his screeching mechanical arms, which probably need to be taken off immediately, he thinks about all the shit today will bring. Like, seriously, without pain pills in however many places Edd plans on going to is going to be a bitch.

He knows how it'll go when the pain gets too much to bear. They'll end up discovering his prosthetics and variety of scars, and they'll react just like he does. Disgust, to a revolting sense, and then they'll kick him out. Settle this once and for all. They might see it as an opening, even, a chance to just torture and hurt him more. The trio will probably want revenge too, although—

Tord hopes they don't.

A door suddenly opens to his far right, revealing everyone in their respective colors and iconic outfits. Matt looks excited, Edd less so. And Thomas? Thomas looks like he's about to march over and strangle the Norsk. Which, he does part of, and Tord braces himself for a moment but the other just keeps walking until he's out of the apartment. A dejected brunette follows after, sighing and motioning for him to come with. The grey-clad gets up with just a tad bit of trouble, and follows a safe distance behind the absolute unit that is Matt. Everyone's eerily quiet, which you think would be pleasant, but it makes him more on edge than before. Outside the apartment is an oddly fitting green carpet, accompanied by dark cream walls. Edd's name is shown on the apartment door as he goes to lock it, and the door is surprisingly fancy for such a place. Ringo's dish is also near the door, and Tord figured he died or something, with not seeing him the whole time he revisited his targets.

There's also a fucking window, in an apartment complex hall mind you, and h—

"Wait- We're not letting that bastard drive..are we?" Oh- great. Thanks, Thomas, your comment was indeed necessary a-

"No, Tom, we're not." Edd's words are followed by a resigned sigh. Hah, perhaps he'll be able to break up their little friend group. It'd be perfect if he could. Ma-

"..Hey, Tord, you're okay with sitting up front with me, right?" Okay, so maybe everyone being on edge won't exactly benefit him. Well, sitting up front isn't exactly what he wants, but that doesn't really matter right now, does it?

"Of course!" His voice comes out a bit more chipper than he'd like it to, honestly, and he can  _feel_ Thomas' eye roll from here. Hey, at least it's convincing. Edd nods in response and they continue down the hall, until Tord's true enemy is revealed.

Stairs.

Everyone else walks down them just fine, of fucking course, but noo! He has to be the little special-fucking-snowflake that clings to the metal bars. It's not a big deal, really, but the looks the others give him just aren't what he wants to see. It's like a mix of confusion and pity; maybe even disappointment mixed in, too. He gets down,  _eventually,_  and Edd looks like he wants to say something but holds it in and dammit- he hates the atmosphere. Sure, he likes their misery,  _relishes_  in it, even, but this is just fucking awkward. Maybe it'll change if he can just get rid of the Alcoholic, he's the cause of all the Norsk's issues, anyway.

They soon pass by the receptionist, and she gives a strained smile and wave at her little, oak desk. Thomas kicks the door open, of course, and he rushes over to the all-too-familiar red car. The car he used to sit beside Tom in, before all of this. But, hey, that's in the past, which doesn't even matter now. Tord waits until everyone else gets in their respective places, before roughly, and accidentally, slamming open the car door and shutting it. He actually bothers to buckle himself in, as not to get ridiculed by Edd.

The car's motor sounds, and the green-clad plays what he assumes to be jazz on the radio. Thomas is dead-ass glaring at him through the little car mirror, and  _wow_ , points for subtlety. Then the brunette starts chatting to them, obviously in a poor attempt to ease tension, and Tord figures he'll play along.

"Alright, so we're going to get groceries first of all, so if there's anything anyone wants just go ahead and get it. We're also going clothes shopping-" a squeal from Matt "- so help yourself to that, too. We'll also probably get ice-cream, and frozen yoghurt, or something, and  _no_  one's backing out." So Edd's getting more stern than usual? Okay, he can adapt to this. Everyone nods correspondingly to the other, albeit a bit reluctant on Thomas' part, and the shortest stops talking.

..he doesn't like the silence.

To fill the void, and just to make him feel better honestly, Tord starts jittering his leg up and down. This prompts the Alcoholic to growl at him, great manners by the way, and Matt to get nervous due to said noise. He regrets sitting up front, also, as he  _really_  doesn't want anyone else to see him like this. Isn't it lovely? Four guys who've been friends since childhood all waiting for one another to snap. It's pr—

"So..Tord, did you do anything exiting over the years you were gone?" He immediately bristles and quickly grabs the car door handle. _Oh_ \- It's just- popping out with the big questions, already? It's fine, he can just lie, so why's he so tense? Tord lets his shoulders relax, but doesn't take his grip away from the handle. Just in case. Edd didn't see anything, perfect, but he can't say the same for those in the back. Well, he'll find out later, anyway.

"You could say that, yeah, but it's probably nothing compared to yours." Is the passive-aggressiveness too strong with this one? Ah, it doesn't matter. Not like he can change it now any-how. He also refuses to meet Edd's eyes when he gives him a  _look_ , and it sets Tom off a bit. Actually, maybe be could add onto his last sentence, make it seem less douche-baggy.

"A-"  _He's getting real fucking tired of being cut-off._

"So, what? Life wasn't eventful enough for you and you got jealous? Is that why you fucking ruined our lives?!" Awh, he uses such loving words, Tord's touched, truly.

"Tom. You've said enough. I get it, Alright? He ruined everything. Even murdered someone for fuck-sake! But..he's trying, okay?" He does wish Edd would stop sticking up for him, it's rather pathetic, actually. Tord doesn't even deserve to live in the same fucking world that the other does, but here he is defending him after all that's happened. After all he's caused.

"..Trying isn't good enough, Edd. think of everything we've lost, how we'll never get any of it back! I had to get fucking  _stitches_  because of him! How can you..how can you just brush all of that off so easily? A  _murder_  so easily. Sure, he was your friend, maybe even mine once, but he's changed, Edd. I know we've all known eachother for a long time..but he's not who we knew before. Just look at him, how he talks, moves, it's all.. _wrong_."

The car comes to a halt. The store they parked in front of is called the Whole Foods Market. He's been there before, everything's alright. Yeah, it's okay.

_"We're here."_

Tord can't get out of there fast enough, and he almost snaps the seatbelt with how hard he rushes to exit that damned vehicle. He slams the door shut hard enough to dent and everyone else soon joins him. The Norsk quickly regains composure, though, plastering his notorious grin and slightly condescending look. Edd pulls him aside for a moment to ask if he's okay, but Tord's done listening to them for the moment, so he really doesn't pay attention. A worried look is what he's left with in reply as they walk to the store's front.

The shop has an odd structure of sorts, metal green supports littering the white sign like cobwebs. There's also an assortment of flowers in the front, which look pretty nice, maybe he'll buy some when he gets home. They all enter through the clear doors, and Thomas immediately disbands. It's for the better, really. Matt soon trails after him, obviously irritating him further, but it's not like the ginger would notice as such.

"..Sorry for what Tom said back there. It's been tough, y'know? Anyway, we'll talk about all that later, is there anything you want?" He's not really in the mood to talk, or walk for that matter, but whatever appeases the other. Until Tord snaps, anyway.

"Nah, I'm good with anything you get."

And, okay, this store is bigger than he remembers, but it has been quite the time since he's been here. The ambiance is nice, faint jingles of music floating through the air, followed by the occasional laugh or tantrum of a child. He doesn't particularly like children, since they're typically afraid of him, but whatever. They have stacks upon stacks of fruits and vegetables, accompanied by carts carrying such and surprisingly clean granite tile. Before he knows it they're already done checking out, and everything just starts falling into that all too familiar blur. The blur that he blames for his actions. It's laughable, really.

"..And, it's probably not the best idea to drink, like, one-hundred year old cola and all, but it was worth it!" Oh, Edd was actually talking, animatedly, at that. Wow, great social skills, Tord. They're already walking out, while Thomas and Matt apparently joined them along the way. Tord's also holding groceries, which he certainly doesn't remember picking up. He really did blank, huh? The grey-clad hasn't done that in awhile, not since—

"-Hey, Tord, you in there?" The green-clad is suddenly waving in his face, which gives him that little notion that, 'hey, your shitty acting skills are showing, stop being a detached little bitch and manipulate these plebeians'. They're in a parking lot, which is most-likely freshly paved. And they were just walking to the car, but they halted because of him. Alright, he's back down to Earth.

"That fucker doesn't give a shit about us, Edd, or our experiences." Tord wills himself to not snap at the other, because that never ends well, and he probably shouldn't let himself get so lost in thought next time, it's not how they perceive him. He has to play by their rules. It is  _their_ own little world, after all.

"I do- I was just thinking. A lot has happened, you know?" No, no Thomas doesn't, apparently.

"Of course not! I'm sorry I don't think like a fucking criminal!" He set the other off, oh well. It's a record, he usually doesn't make the other this mad unintentionally. But, under these circumstances, he guesses it's fine. It's also still not time to argue with the other yet, which is pretty disappointing really, he enjoyed their little bickering.

Edd sighs, "Yeah, I know."

They get back in the car, after putting the groceries in the trunk anyway, and everything seems a bit less tense. The trio are actually talking to one another, not that Tord bothers to listen in, and they even seem happy. He's glad, in an odd sense, that they're the same old people he once knew, unlike himself. He vaguely missed this, but since coming back he misses it a bit less. That all too familiar feeling of dread wells back up in him, and he wills it all down. Not now, not yet. That's a conversation for another day.

"—We're going to get some clothes next, by the way, then we'll go for ice-cream, sound good?" The grey and blue clad say 'sure' in unison, while Matt 'awws' in the back, " _-And_  frozen yoghurt." The ginger does a little 'yay!' after, and Tord feels..odd. It's almost like it used to be, whatever that even was at this point. He just stays quiet for the rest of the ride, not bothering to interact with the other car inhabitants. There's just no point, he'll just be digging himself a deeper grave, anyway. It seems endless, at first, like his old friends' banter will never cease, but they pull up to the place pretty soon, and Tord's never actually been there.

It reads 'Beyond Retro', with a smaller, fancier handwriting font displaying  _'Vintage Clothing'._  What a compliment, going to a store for his normal attire with such labels, but whatever. Edd vaguely gestures to those in the backseat, earning dull nods in response. Tord should've made an effort to stay back at the apartment, he doesn't like how this is making him feel, mentally or physically. It's draining, in an odd way. They get out of the car, with the grey-clad needing to grab onto the door for support, but it's only him and Edd. He shouldn't be this disconnected, really, but he can't find it in himself to care. It'll all be over soon, anyway.

It's fairly packed, and the black doors don't have the pleasant little jingle that Tord likes. The main color scheme is a mix between bright yellows and warm browns, which don't really mix in with the multi-colored pom-poms strung up from the ceiling. Edd is already picking out his classic undershirts, before walking back over to him.

"Okay, so I assume you still want them in this color since that's what your wearing, but, what about the hoodie?" He spots it in that moment, that classic cherry-red hoodie, and briefly freezes. It's a simple decision, really, but that jacket reminds him of what they used to be, and promptly no thank you.

"Oh, grey would be perfect. You don't have to buy all of this for me, y'know, I'd be fine borrowing some of your clothes or something." Edd chuckles slightly at that, but it sounds a little strained, something Tord is  _very_   well-versed in.

"I hope you'll be staying with us for awhile, at least, so the dent in my wallet doesn't really matter," The shorter male pauses, as if looking for the right words to say, and his voice becomes considerably softer. "We really did miss you, Tord." Oh, hah, that's a sure nice thing to say and all, but he's no idiot. He'd say something, mock Edd or anything among the sorts, but he has to be good. Tord will snap eventually, he  _knows_  he will, but hopefully not at the green-clad.

"..I missed you guys, too." This is probably the most ambitious lie he's told, at least he planned to stay longer before the incident and all, but this is not even twisting the truth. He's getting better at this, which actually makes the grey-clad really exited! _Imagine how far he can get himself wedged between them._  Perfect, as all should be. The other nods distantly at him, before retrieving several dark hoodies and ushering him into a large changing room. Although, he doesn't plan on trying any clothes on. Just look at that fucking mirror! No one needs to see what's hidden under those layers of clothing, because that's just disgusting. Just remembering what he looks like almost makes him vomit.

But, hey, he's been a bit distant recently, and can use this time to re-collect himself.

Staring into that taunting mirror, he practices certain facial expressions while he feels the exact opposite. It's gotten rather easy, really, it just takes a sigh and he's prepared. Before Tord knows it he's out of there, waving to Edd who's comparing sock prices, and he acts more cheerful than before. He has a new smile plastered to his face, and he knows that it's perfect, because it's always been.  _Always_. He begins to briefly look through the different clothes sections as Edd pays, and they're out of there.

The others are right where they left them, just idly sitting in the back as if time hadn't even moved for them. The other male just leaves the bagged clothes in the trunk, and gets in the car after Tord. They're greeted with an annoyed alcoholic and ecstatic Matt, who can barely stay in his seat. This is somewhat nice, he used to be good friends with the ginger, so seeing him happy is just fine. The others don't start talking to one another as they did earlier, though, Edd simply turns up the radio and the only sound heard is Matt's side of the seat squeaking.

The sky gets darker as they go, and it all seems okay for once.

They show up to a quaint little place called the Gelateria 3Bis Borough Market, which has a pretty fancy name for what the store actually is, and he's asked what flavor he wants,  _strawberry obviously_ , before being asked to wait outside with Matt as the other gets to exited from these types of things. It has a pretty modern store-front, being green with a white, umbrella-like hood above the door that reads the name of the joint itself. The man next to him is bouncing up and down on his heels, and Tord lets out a sigh of relief. He really thought it'd be much worse than this, just _think_ about what he's done for god-sake! But, of course, nothing turns out right when it comes to the group, it never does.

The little door jingle is back as..Thomas comes out. He gestures for the lavender clad to go inside but he doesn't follow, instead walking over to Tord. The grey-clad immediately bristles, before the other lets out a huff of annoyance and stands next to him. He mumbles something along the lines of Edd telling him to wait outside, for whatever reason, and Tord  _can't_. He's been feeling  _wrong_ all day, and he isn't going to let the blue-clad ruin whatever semblance of normality he's made out of all  _this_. He starts shaking, having half the mind to run and the other to punch Tom, but he does neither.

He has to be good.

He just dejectedly sighs to himself, and preys to whatever deity out there that Thomas won't start anything and Edd will just come out soon. But, of course, said being just flips him off as the other does exactly that.

"..This victim act you've got going on is really pissing me off. Edd won't fall for it forever, you know." Surprisingly, the alcoholic's voice exactly models the pure irritation on his features. He's shit at hiding his face, huh? But- Tord relaxes then, because this is normal. He's used to their relationship being like this. After all that's happened, it's rather comforting in a sense. Like the one thing he can cling to that won't change.

"I'm n-"

Oh, maybe someone actually was listening, because there the other two are, struggling to each hold three cones and a cup of frozen yoghurt. He's handed his cone, and so is Thomas, effectively shutting them both up. Good, he won't have to defend himself. The ice-cream itself looks nice, a little waffle chip even sticks out of the top displaying the store's name and the cherry-red color complements the well-detailed and cream cone perfectly. He won't finish it, for sure, but it's pretty, at least.

They get back in the car, despite his expectations to actually just stand there, and the radio is put back on. This day has been more peaceful than he thought it to be, despite his mentality clearly getting in the way, but that's okay. Tord will make sure to polish up his act for tomorrow and maybe get a decent night's sleep. H-

"Oh hey Tom, would you mind if Tord stayed in your apartment for a bit? I-" _Wha-_

**_"WHAT?!"_ **


	7. Y'know What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tordy has an episode
> 
> Words: 2,146  
> Heya! Sorry about how bad this chapter is, but I realized I hadn't actually kept up with a 'good' posting schedule, so I had to cut this chapter in half to save time. The next bit should be better, though, and quicker, too, since I already have a good amount written. I'm also tryn'a develop Tord's mental disorders more, which requires more research and stuff. Well, hope you guys like this chapter anyway!

_'If Tord stayed in your apartment'_

His ears ring from Tom's yell. And, promptly, what the fuck, Edd? He has to stay calm, though, Tord doesn't want to get even further on their bad side during a time like this. They're  _arguing_. The grey-clad might not be paying attention, and he can barley pick up what they're saying anyway, but he knows they're arguing. That wasn't,  _hah-ha_ , wasn't quite what he expected the brunette to say. Him and Thomas have tried to fucking kill each-other before! Edd either wants him dead or is so disillusioned that he thinks they can get along. He assumes it's the latter, hopes it is anyway, but Tord isn't quite certain. In this world, there's really no telling what will happen, it'll just probably go wrong for him.

This is t _heir_ world, after all.

His bulkier robot arm clenches tightly on reflex - he'll have to learn how to control that better - and the cone is promptly crushed, not like he can feel the cold, though. It does gives him something to focus on, at least, to get away from the constant buzz of whatever the fucks going on. The more he stares, the more the red, sugary cream starts to look like blood. It doesn't help much, but the familiar sense of it gives him something else to cling to. Tord shouldn't even be here in the first place, especially with them acting like children, even if he's the reason why they're behaving like such. They're like chess pieces in a sense, except he has to fight to get each piece moving properly. Yeah, he really is an asshole, huh? Not that the grey-clad really minds, anyway, he doesn't give a flying fuck about them.

"I'm sorry. It's just- my mind is all scrambled from all the change, you know..? We'll talk about this later." The other's voice is just above a whisper, but it's probably just due to his ears blowing out. Hey, at least their arguing should be over, for now, anyways. The car halts, eventually, but they don't exactly exit. It's quiet again, eerily so, and he can feel Edd's eyes on him. Oh, yeah, the no-longer-frozen blo-..cream is leaking onto the car's floor, right. It's funny actually, or just plain sad, that he seems to always be taking the spotlight from Thomas. One moment Edd's apologizing to the other, the next he's worried about the Norsk.

Serves him right. That bastard used to do that to him all the time.

Tord doesn't want to think about that right now, though, he's tried  _very_  hard to forget about what Tom's done to him. Besides, the grey-clad got even, anyway.

Maybe he even went a  _little_  overboard with his revenge, who knows?

But none of that's important,  _it never really was,_  and he has better things to think about. Like what he'll do once he's done with them for example! Sure, this is a rather boring game for now, but it'll get better the more he learns to manipulate them. Afterwards, he'll just go back to his army and  _real_ acquaintances that he actually cares about. They're probably worried sick, if anything, and he's starting to feel that familiar, old ache. That pang of emptiness is why he wanted to rid himself of them in the first place.

"..Tord..?" Oh, he was spacing out again. That's something he has to work on, it's even been affecting his Red Leader performance.

"Ah– sorry, I was just..thinking." He sh-

"Thinking about  _what_ , exactly? About how things aren't going your way so you'll just kill us all off?!" Honestly? Not a bad idea, Thomas, but it's not Edd and Matt that he'd get rid of.

"Tom.." He sighs, and his voice softens considerably, "Tord, we have to talk later, too, alright? All of us." And..that's it. He doesn't comment on the cone or soft  _pitter-patter_  of ice-cream dripping to the floor or how he's constantly been spacing out. That'll come later, though, won't it?..He's not excited about having to actually sit down and talk to them. Tord does wish Edd would just stop caring, though, why can't he just let go? Honestly, after awhile he just seems plain idiotic, like the rest of them.

Then, the others start to get out, while he's pretty sure the shorter male asked if he needed any help. He gets out last, bringing the now wrecked frozen treat with him, and he slams the door, again, receiving a glare from Thomas. The sun is going down, currently, the sky starting to shift from a cotton-candy pink and on to a deep blue. It's been awhile since he's been outside, huh? Well, the few days he's spent with them, anyway. Tord hasn't even showered or brushed his teeth or  _anything_  during his time here and, ugh. But, hey, they haven't been that hostile towards him all things considered, so he guesses it's alright for now. Maybe they'd let him bathe or something, but—

With only one waterproof robotic arm and another one that can electrocute him when coming in contact with it? That certainly won't be the easiest feat for him to hide from them.

They'll have to find out eventually, though, but he hopes that won't be anytime soon. Just  _thinking_ about taking off his bandages makes him sick. It's a disgrace to himself, Red Leader, and his army to have gotten hurt at all. And that robot? The thing he nearly  _single handedly_ built? All gone to shit, just like that. Hah, it's just like his hopes and dreams, all eradicated in that explosion. Hey, the blast probably looked cool, so there's that.  _Nice thoughts and all, okay? But it's time to actually pay attention to your surroundings, dipshit._

 _Oh_ , he bumped into a car while lost in thought. Edd says..something? The other's mouth is moving but nothing's coming out. He's probably just having another episode, yeah, that's all, it's okay. Tord's skin goes numb and prickly, while he tries clutching onto the previously crushed cone for something to ground himself with, but there's nothing there. Matt is coming towards him, but the grey-clad's not quite sure why. Maybe the ginger is going to get something out of the car that he left behind? Suddenly his body starts going forward on its own, but he can't feel any of it. All Tord sees is the faint blur of what's in front of him, which soon switches from the car to the apartment building's white, front doors.

..White doors are never good, are they?

~*~

Edd hears a small  _'crunch'_  next to him in the midst of their arguing. He rushes an apology to Tom, who really doesn't deserve any of this, and looks over at Tord to make sure he's okay. His tan ice-cream cone is crushed, and he's just..staring at it as the liquid drips down his gloves. The grey-clad's eyes are blown and hold the same expression as they did during.. _that_. So, he doesn't ask about it, because that's probably the best thing to do as to not provoke the other any further. It was most likely due to him and Tom's argument that he's like this, anyway. But Edd still cares, so he tries getting Tord's attention.

"Hey, Tord, 'anything you want to do when we get home?" It's just a simple question, made solely for the purpose of making sure he's okay, but the other just keeps looking down.

"..Tord, 'you alright.?" He's still just..watching it.

"..Tord..?!" The green-clad's getting more worried now, so he harshens his tone a bit, and Tord suddenly snaps his head up to him, pupils still blown.

"Ah– sorry, I was just..thinking." Edd goes to say something else, just an 'okay', or something, but Tom cuts in.

"Thinking about  _what,_  exactly? About how things aren't going your way so you'll just kill us all off?!" Now, he understands, really. But the more he talks the worse Tord gets.

"Tom.." He lets out an irritated sigh, and makes sure to soften his voice a bit, "Tord, we have to talk later, too, alright? All of us." And he plans on keeping that promise, even if a certain someone argues about it. They all used to be best friends, and Edd doesn't plan on letting go of that anytime soon. He knows they can be that again, he just has to figure out  _how_. The green-clad's constantly been snapping at Tom, which is just damaging their relationship more, but he really has no other options and he's pretty tired of it.

With a final exhale, he mutters a 'we're home' and gets up to exit the car. Pausing, and asking if Tord needs any help with how he's been acting recently and all, is promptly ignored as the other gets out. Shutting and locking the car, making sure he has all of his belongings with him, motions for the gang to follow him. Edd probably shouldn't just leave the Norsk unattended, but if he really wanted to run he could've already done so, further proving that he wants to stay, deep down in his heart or whatever. Tom and Matt follow him side-by-side as they walk through the drab parking lot, but Tord staggers a bit behind. A  _'thunk'_  suddenly sounds not too far behind them where Tord should be, so, in unison, the group turn in an almost comedic fashion.

The other is just paused there, and cautiously moves to the side like he doesn't know where he is.

"Um..Tord? You coming?" Once again, he's ignored, and the grey-clad still has that manic look in his eyes.

"Matt, can you go..get him? I don't think I'm strong enough and Tom probably doesn't want to." The over-coat dawned confusedly nods, before hesitantly going over to the other.

The tall male tries saying something to Tord, but the Norsk just blankly stares at him. Giving up, the ginger just grabs onto the smaller's hoodie sleeve, pulling him along to catch up with him and Tom. Speaking of Tom, anyway, he's been oddly quiet for what's been going on. Maybe he's shocked or something? Edd doesn't blame him. Eventually they walk up to the complex's doors, only getting one concerned onlooker in the process, and they enter, greeted by the familiar mango walls and white tile floors of the waiting room. Hurrying past the waving receptionist, who gives them an odd glance, they opt for the elevator instead of the stairs until they can find out whatever's going on with Tord. God, he hopes he isn't sick or something, he still hasn't even uttered a sound, much less word.

They get to Edd's apartment door, and he freezes just as he was about to unlock it. Where would they put the other? He doesn't have any room in any spot other than the couch, his house being  _much_  too messy for any actual comfort. If Tord really is sick he'll probably need something better than a couch, which isn't really available in his apartment other than the bed that's got crumbs and a drawing tablet seemingly stuck to it. There's a clear answer to this issue, but it probably won't go over all that well..

"Hey..Tom? Can we go to your apartment for a bit-" The blue-clad goes to interject, '-It's not permanent, not at all, but your place is the cleanest and I don't have an available bed. We  _could_  go to Matt's? But I'm pretty sure he just sleeps on a mound of mirrors or self-portraits or something. If Tord makes a mess or anything I'll clean it up and all, is that alright.?" Tom pauses, and contemplates for a good few minutes, before grumbling incoherently.

"Y'know what? Fucking fine. But if that  _bastard_  touches  _anything_  without permission then he's not to step foot near me again, got it?" Edd nods in response, because oh is he glad that Tom said yes. Not only is this better for Tord's sake, it can also help them be friends again!

The other sighs before reluctantly taking out his keys and unlocking a door similar to his own apartment's, while mumbling something along the lines of 'he better not fucking puke or something'. It's surprising, actually, how neat the alcoholic's apartment is considering his track record. The green-clad's really proud of him for that, because after what transpired during the accident, he figured he'd just give up on everything. But, instead, Tom vowed to 'get his shit together' and be happy for once. The door opens with a little  _'click'_ , and they all fumble into the currently dark, but tasteful, apartment.

"Well, home sweet home, I guess."


	8. Don't Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom misunderstands..a lot
> 
> Ahh! I'm very sorry about how late this chapter came out! I meant to upload it last month but life got in the way! I have no plans to give up on this fanfiction, and I hope this chapter will be worth the wait! Since school has started up again I'll most likely produce chapters quicker since I'll have less to do, and I plan to re-write a few old chapters with that extra time.  
> I'm sincerely sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy!
> 
> Words: 1,698

_"..et home, I guess."_

_*Click*_

The room suddenly lights up in bright yellow hues and oranges. Tord's eye is absolutely _burning_ , causing the room to blur into meaningless colors and shapes. The Norsk staggers back a bit, only then realizing that a lavender mass has a hold of him, and he rapidly tries to make sense of everything that's happening. A cold, wet substance is crawling down his leg, right beneath one of his constricting bandages, while being accompanied by a dull ache. It's been there for awhile now, but the pieces aren't coming together, and he doesn't know what it is. Nothing's coming together. He looks down to see an eye-bleeding blue, which another..person in the room is also adorned in. He doesn't like blue. Blobs and blotches of color in the area start becoming more clear, and he at least recognizes that this place sort of looks like home. Well, what home used to be, anyway.

His stomach sinks as the room begins to form properly, and his mind starts catching up with what's going on.

Thomas, Matt, and Edd are here. Talking. He can't quite register what they're saying, though. It all..sounds like static in a way. Though, that could be just due to the damage to his hearing after the explosion. Tord analyzes the rest of the room to the best of his ability at the moment, and recognizes the all too familiar couch and mango walls. But..this isn't Edd's apartment? The carpet is the source of that blue he despises  _oh_  so much, and this place seems significantly smaller. Looking over to his left, there's a small table to the back of said nostalgic couch, which contains a bulky camera, empty bottle of  _Smirnoff_  and a box of half-eaten donuts, along with a model gun resting propped on a table leg. He decides that now is the time to realize who's apartment this is. There's a TV in front of the couch, resting on a table that's paler than most wood in the apartment, with a PS4 right below it. Looking more-so up the wall, though, Tord sees it.  _A picture of Edd and Thomas_. His heart speeds up, and the Norsk attempts to focus on more decor in the apartment, such as the dark bookshelf with only one, blue book that reads 'how to pretend you're reading' or the large, navy blue fan that clings onto the ceiling.

But he can't. All he can focus on is the gut-wrenching feeling of being trapped in his apartment.

He frantically looks around the living space, searching for any line of escape, but then his silver eye locks with those bottomless voids. Swirling pits of hopelessness that've haunted Tord for years. Lifeless, dark holes that make him feel like they can see right through the grey-clad and his shitty façades. Those eyes make the Norsk want to punch that look off of him and run like a fucking coward at the same time.

Bile burns and rises in through his throat. He thought they'd all just share an apartment, but..just being in the Alcoholic's own space makes him..nervous. Especially since Matt still has a grip on him,  _right on his robotic arm_. His vision focuses out again, just leading everything back into various blotches of color. Tord just..needs to escape. He can't stay. He  _won't_  stay. Just let him go home. _Please just let him go home._  His heart jumps in his chest and colors are shifting around him, being accompanied by seemingly disembodied British voices.  _What even is his home anymore?_ It feels like his soul is trying to escape his body, heh, maybe it's just his Red Leader act realizing how pathetic Tord is. His puffs of breath start getting quicker and larger in numbers. He's just making himself feel worse, wow. He really let himself go, huh..?

...why can't they just leave him alone? Why can't the muffled voices around him stop?

_he needs them to stop!_

~*~

Tord just..keeps staring at him with his one, foggy silver eye. It's dilating in and out, as if actively showing the Norsk's inner struggle or whatever the fuck is going on. Tom doesn't really care, in all honestly, but he has to since Matt and Edd apparently do for whatever reason. The blue-clad should've just fucking left him out on the streets. Why'd he even take him along in the first place? Ugh, that's the one night he regrets drinking. Maybe if half his brain bothered to work he would've known that taking a psycho off the streets and into his home would mess shit up. But, alas, that's besides the point and he sorta kinda maybe has to deal with his stupid-ass decision, which is currently freaking the fuck out in his apartment.

Edd and Matt are wasting their time by chanting reassurances and trying to calm Tord down, but it's pretty obvious that it's all just backfiring because, one, that's not exactly what you say to someone who's having a panic attack and two, this is fucking Tord they're dealing with. He's probably just faking all this shit so he can get out of what he did. But..Edd thinks he can change, so, might as well humor him. Anyway, he might as well give helping out the grey-clad a go, as he understands panic attacks more than anyone else trying to help him right now. It is creepy as fuck how Tord's completely ignoring everyone else in the room and just staring straight at Tom, though. It's like..he's able to just see and know everything that the Alcoholic has done.

..With a reluctant sigh, he asks the other two to move, which they quickly do with evident surprise and faint confusion. Carefully, he places his hands on the smaller's shoulders, waiting to see how the other will take it. When the Norsk starts getting shakier, Tom loosens his grip to see the vibrating lessen by a tad. Alright, not bad, at least he's not too far gone. Recognizing that this isn't just some fake attempt at fear, well, hopefully not, the blue-clad starts taking this more seriously.

"Okay, you're doing good. Breathe with me, alright? Slow, steady." Despite not particularly caring about Tord, he doesn't want Edd or Matt freaking out about this, so he helps the best he can. Slowing his breathing, he gets the Norsk to follow along, although his breathing is still a bit quick, it's getting better over time.

"Good. Now, what do you need? Tell me now." The other seems to focus more on the eyeless male, one visible eye no longer holding that fog, but still retaining the look he had during the 'end' of their old house and life. That fucking look that makes him sick. _That fucking look wh-_  No, no. He can't lash out right now.

"..n-need.?" Oh, that..wasn't what Tom expected in reply. That voice..reminds him of the old Tord. The one who didn't talk much and didn't hate him. It's small and shaky. It almost makes the blue-clad pity him. Almost. And the expression on the other's face isn't helping, as it softens significantly after hearing Tom ask what he needs. His face doesn't hold any malice, and you wouldn't believe that this short, quiet thing could destroy your whole life with the press of a button. But he did, and Tom will _never_ forget that.

The other steps back until he bumps the back of his makeshift table, shifting the contents all the while, and the blue-clad allows him to have some space. It looks like he's lost in deep thought, as if even he doesn't know what he needs. And, after all the mood-swings and things he's done, maybe he really doesn't. Hell, Tom doesn't even know what he himself needs.

".I..I think I need space.? This..this is weird. You're not supposed to be like this. Y-You aren't supposed..supposed to act.." He pauses, momentarily, and the other's breathing amps back up, while his pupils seem like they've dilated as small as they can go. What? What does he mean by not acting like we're supposed to? Does he just expect everything to go the way he wants? Of fucking course.

Of. Fucking. Course.

"..y-you aren't just supposed to act like nothing fucking happened!" He completely panics, as if lost to his previous statement. As if he's just waiting to be killed for what he said. But..what.?  _That's_ what he meant?! So, he wanted them to snap at him?! He wanted them to be mad. Is that how he fucking gets off? To mentally breaking everyone that actually _gave_   _a shit about him?!_

_What the absolute fuck?!_

"Hey, hey- Tom, calm down, please. You're eyes are glowing purple. It's okay, alright? We'll all talk about this later. For now, can you stand outside the apartment? I need to talk with Tord, okay? You're okay. We're all okay. I'll tell you when you can come back in, alright?"

...

...he can't argue with Edd. He, albeit with quiet protests, unlocks the apartment door and exits with a small 'click' following. That fucking psycho probably won't hurt them in this state, anyway. Alright, calm down, man. There's no point in getting worked up over the panicked ramblings of a murderer. God, he fucking snapped at someone in the middle of a panic attack, didn't he? Fuck. Well, he wants to at least make sure things are going okay, so he pushes his ear up to his name engraved apartment door and listens, which isn't that outlandish considering what he's done in the past, soo..Whatever. He picks up vague whispers from the other side, and makes sure to intensely focus on them.

_"..Okay, okay. Tom lost his cool back there a bit, huh? Don't worry, it's okay, he won't hurt you. He just misunderstood a little, okay? Breathe. Breathe. It's alright."_

_"E-Edd? F-Fuck no! Y-You don't..don't understand..."_

_. . ._

_"..I.i think I'm gonna..gonna pass out. Blood. I'm bleeding. Fuck—"_

_*thump*_

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first fanfic, so grammar correction and basically anything is very appreciated! The first chapter alone was in the works for about a year, thanks to self-esteem and school, but the updates will be loads faster now^^
> 
> I'll try to respond to comments as soon as possible and kudos are welcome! I'd adore to hear your opinion and what you think will happen next in the story!
> 
> I'm also open to story collabs if anyone's interested!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [help](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521127) by [TheLittlestAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittlestAngel/pseuds/TheLittlestAngel)




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